Love takes many forms, and a mother experiences most of them. This practice is founded on the principle that a mother's work is worthy of respect. I believe that a mother's emotional well-being cannot be adequately understood or supported without an appreciation of her work as a mother. I am a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, and have an Eastern, mind-body-soul approach to the work of Motherhood.
I consider it a profound life journey in which a woman delves into the complexities and challenges of doing the work of love. A mother's love for her child can be the source of a powerful, ongoing core strength. This does not mean we must always "love" our children in the stereotypical way. In fact, over more than thirty years of professional experience has taught me that it is normal for all of us as mothers to get overwhelmed, or feel worry, anxiety, anger, fatigue, guilt, self-blame or depression.
These and other "forbidden" thoughts and emotions are the results of a deep commitment to love.
I consider it a profound life journey in which a woman delves into the complexities and challenges of doing the work of love. A mother's love for her child can be the source of a powerful, ongoing core strength. This does not mean we must always "love" our children in the stereotypical way. In fact, over more than thirty years of professional experience has taught me that it is normal for all of us as mothers to get overwhelmed, or feel worry, anxiety, anger, fatigue, guilt, self-blame or depression.
These and other "forbidden" thoughts and emotions are the results of a deep commitment to love.
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I am a clinician, and at my best when working one on one with a client.
However I have ended up spending many years writing for many reasons, including for publication.
The most compelling reason to write has been to convey meaningful information to other women during talks, workshops and the like.
Over time I hope to put each of these small pieces on this site for you to check out.
I may also post three chapters written for an unfinished book that seems to have taken a back seat to my clinical work for now.
However I have ended up spending many years writing for many reasons, including for publication.
The most compelling reason to write has been to convey meaningful information to other women during talks, workshops and the like.
Over time I hope to put each of these small pieces on this site for you to check out.
I may also post three chapters written for an unfinished book that seems to have taken a back seat to my clinical work for now.
Our experience of Motherhood is a core part of our life journey.
Motherhood has immense joys and rewards, and it also has extraordinary demands and challenges.
I believe that helpful interactions with a mother must be supportive of her daily experience as a mother.
Motherhood is the single most important psychological shift in a woman's identity after teenage, and part of her core self-judgment.
Yet this is not commonly understood or acknowledged.
So mothers cope with the ever-changing demands upon them without any support or acknowledgement for their constant work, their emotions, their thoughts, or their daily experience.
Motherhood has immense joys and rewards, and it also has extraordinary demands and challenges.
I believe that helpful interactions with a mother must be supportive of her daily experience as a mother.
Motherhood is the single most important psychological shift in a woman's identity after teenage, and part of her core self-judgment.
Yet this is not commonly understood or acknowledged.
So mothers cope with the ever-changing demands upon them without any support or acknowledgement for their constant work, their emotions, their thoughts, or their daily experience.
Mothering a teenager is a special phase in a mother's journey.
It is a time of tumultuous growth for her, when her path of love can take a significant turn into new and unimagined territory.
Learning how to love a teenager can also teach a mother how to respect herself, and expect to be respected by others.
This is the foundation of rootedness and wisdom.
Our culture puts pressure on, and permission to teenagers to behave in quite inappropriate and disrespectful ways, in the name of "separation" from parents.
It is a time of tumultuous growth for her, when her path of love can take a significant turn into new and unimagined territory.
Learning how to love a teenager can also teach a mother how to respect herself, and expect to be respected by others.
This is the foundation of rootedness and wisdom.
Our culture puts pressure on, and permission to teenagers to behave in quite inappropriate and disrespectful ways, in the name of "separation" from parents.
Having a child with special challenges is an exceptionally demanding aspect of Motherhood.
In addition to figuring out, constantly, how to find resources for the child's needs, we must access a different kind of love.
As this child's journey unfolds, we are also the only person between this child and the outside world.
Our advocacy, and the load of responsibility and worry this generates on a regular basis, is rarely understood or supported.
While this is true for all mothers, it is especially demanding for a mother whose child has special challenges.
In addition to figuring out, constantly, how to find resources for the child's needs, we must access a different kind of love.
As this child's journey unfolds, we are also the only person between this child and the outside world.
Our advocacy, and the load of responsibility and worry this generates on a regular basis, is rarely understood or supported.
While this is true for all mothers, it is especially demanding for a mother whose child has special challenges.
One way of "being" must end, and this takes time.
It is helpful to look ahead, at the woman we want to be years down the road.
Children will always have a relationship with their mother, even if it is only in their head.
They will also come home, as young adults, and also (hard to imagine) as parents themselves.
It is absolutely possible to shape the new woman we wish to be.
It is deeply empowering and rejuvenating to do so intentionally.
It takes a mother time to learn to listen to herself, rather than to her family.
It is helpful to look ahead, at the woman we want to be years down the road.
Children will always have a relationship with their mother, even if it is only in their head.
They will also come home, as young adults, and also (hard to imagine) as parents themselves.
It is absolutely possible to shape the new woman we wish to be.
It is deeply empowering and rejuvenating to do so intentionally.
It takes a mother time to learn to listen to herself, rather than to her family.
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